Naturally, my initial reaction was fury that it was indolence, not illness that had sidelined the hypochondriac commentator. On closer inspection I could not help but be intrigued by the substance of his missive. I sallied forth surreptitiously to my friend's warren to hear of the great works he was doing and the global reach that he had clearly found.
With ears erect and nose moist it had been a long time since I had seen the buck look better. I walked over to review the work that was esconsing him on-line. You can imagine my disappointment when I saw the screen logged in to www.play-the-field.com chatroom, with my analytical master attempting to charm the fur off a variety of doe's..
"News Bunny, my friend, you're better than this!", I interrupted as he swivled his chair and failing to hide his last contribution from my horrified gaze: "Babe, I'd coarse you down the deepest hole..." I searched vainly for saltpetre and offered to brew some dandelion tea while asking what had become of the erudite blogger I knew and loved.
"We're all going to hell in a handbasket", the bunny countered as I seived the yellow petals from our tisane. Disappointed by his despair, I suggested News Bunny do something about it. "Make hay while the sun shines. Have you seen the haunches on these hunnies?" His front teeth were twitching in some feral facsimile, I reassured the lecherous leporid that I really wasn't interested. Something in his eyes beseeched me to extricate him from his new ignomony. I changed the subject: "What's this about Barak Obama?".
Oh yeah, Sarah! She's a fox. I mean... I would never... not with an actual fox - modelled for some big fashion house back in the day, palest blue eyes, gamine figure, you should have seen her, way out of my class, but then..." I clicked my fingers to try and bring the hypnotised rabbit out of his reverie
, "...so she's in Copenhagen, saving the world like all those pretty chicks do when they get older - Audrey Hepburn and, er, Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn..."I clapped twice in front of NB's nose "so, I'm on-line with Sarah, nothing naasty, just the suggestion of catching up over a green salad and she says she can't do next week 'cos she's in Copenhagen. My first thought is that she's dating some ghastly Danish hog or catching some catalogue work, so I ask her - all casual - if she's off saving the planet and that turns out to be the case. I assume she's hurling petrol bombs from the barracades, hooked up with some tree-hugging terrorist so I throw a bit of advice the lassy's way about how everybody's got this green thing back to front. Turns out the girl came good, got next to the American president and hit him straight between the eyes with a proper perspective. I still don't have a fix on the fox's status but her news was better than sex." I kept my own counsel on the rampant rabbit's new approach to relationships, prefering to enquire what he had ask his ex to say.
"Oh, you know, everyone's got the wrong end of the carrot on this climate change thing. It doesn't make any difference if I leave the heating on full and the windows wide open. It's a supply side problem. If we step out now and set light to the local gas station, it doesn't change the amount of carbon in the atmosphere one microgram, the deisel was destined to be drunk by a dump truck, the petrol poured into a Porsche. Once a barrel of oil comes out of the ground, it is getting burned, by someone, somewhere and soon. The only way to confine climate change is to stop mining the stuff. Eight of the world's eleven largest corporations are petrochemical companies, two thirds of the world's oil comes from eleven countries. That's where your leverage is. If you want to change anything you have to change it there. Six billion people will suffer from climate change, nineteen organisations need to change - shouldn't be too hard to sort it out." 
"And you got this message to the President?", I confirmed. "Oh yes, Sarah seems very tight with the powers that be, it's not who you know, you know, it's what you look like - and Sarah looks great"
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